I either react to much or not at all. And than I regret either decision. There is no hope for me. Ignore the sappy post yesterday. I’m stupid and frustrated.
My Monday just went from okay and productive to shit. But, I can’t say that I didn’t call it. I mean, you know, I was just a distraction or something to keep you busy. I’m glad you found what you wanted so quickly. You know, I knew this was going to happen but, I’m ever hopeful. Always. I hate that. Ugh. And I hate being cynical. I hate it but, here it is. Honesty, huh? And literally, I have no one to talk about this with. Not a soul. And don’t date your friends. Don’t do it. Heed that warning they tell you. Because when you break up and it’s totally one sided you can’t imagine being around them without being rude and cynical or breaking into tears. And of course the person their with is your friend too. But they are friends with your friends so you are bound to see them again. Of course I want him to be happy, I just wish this didn’t bother be as much as it did. And just as I thought I was okay. But I was probably just happy because he was having a bad few weeks. And a lot of me just says he deserves it but, He doesn’t. He deserves to be happy just like I do. But I just want my happily ever after like everyone else I’m around.
Oh and my students keep telling me that I’ve gained weight. What can I say, I have zero time to workout and I eat my feelings. Sue me.